You've spit your sermons, Holy verses, I know what's hiding beneath the surface. You cheat your conscience, Delude your purpose, I know whats hiding behind the curtains. Father, I confess my sins, I'm here today to seek my revenge, I walked up in here with demons in my head, and i'm walkin outta here with blood on my hands. I'm making sure today's the last day Your church pews will ever seat prey. Your audience will open their eyes, and see a man paying for his crimes. Victimize me. Sacrifice me. Persecute me. Immolate me. [Deceiver] You've watched me grow up, Taught me lessons, I was blind to your sick intentions. I was silenced, Years feeling threatened, Being used at your discretion. Father, it's within my means, I hid a gun underneath my sheets, I put the barrel in between your teeth, Looked you dead in the eyes as I squeezed. Tears fell as years of pain exited my life, As your brain, exited your skull, I just think, How could you do this to me? You will hide no longer. You so called disciple. You will meet your maker. You will pay the piper. Deceiver.

A needle and never ending thread, Sewing my hands together again. Lack of focus, an over-bearing numbness, and a feeling of paralysis. Puncture, Suture, Suture my bleeding heart. Bowing, Kneeling. Voices inside me, telling me I need to, Give in. Give in to this world. A deep hole in my head. A bottomless pit. Too many projects left unfinished. Too many regrets. Too many resets. I'm cutting my ties to my many loose ends. Bury your heads in the ground. Dig for your soul till there's sand in your mouth. Under your skin. Inside your bone. Hold onto what's left of you and never let go. It's time to seize the day. It's time to awaken.

I've been stuck in the ground, Feel like i'm covered in dirt, Feel like i'm lost in the woods, Feel like i'm lost in my work, In a daze, so far gone, Feel like days, i've been gone, In a constant sleep walk, Turn me on, I'm still off, I feel awkward, Awake, I feel awful, Can't shake all this weight on my back, It might crack, it may break, All these songs keep on echoing, Loose ends and broken dreams, All of them taunting me, Cut these strings off of me. My nine lives expire soon. Dancing silhouette in the moon, and I feel so numb, While I crack the sky and embrace the sun. I've been stuck in my head, Feel like i'm losin' it all, I've been standing alone, Feel like i'm going to fall, I'm here holding myself, Looks like i'm steady without you, but I'm still reaching out, There's just no one to hold on to. If I move from this place, I just might fall on my face, Or I could land on my feet, Could take a leap of faith, So I step to this ledge, and I look to the clouds, and I jump from this rooftop, I hope I never come down. I will reach for stars. Sleeping on the clouds. Proof of levitation. Never coming down. Never come down. I'm leaving the ground. Never come down. My head in the clouds.

Can't stop the world, can't hold the press, Head lines keep running man, I digress, And lies keep cutting, my life's a test, And lines keep cutting in your bathroom, Mrs. "Always right by your side", Now missing from my life, Always knew you lacked judgement, Choices took me by surprise, But you've hit a new low, And it hurts me to realize, That I won't forgive you, Even When you finally clear your mind, I was under your influence, Now your under the influence, constantly, Had a chance to change your life and you blew it, And honestly, I won't be around to see you through it, Burned bridges, and I wont be around to guide you through the ruins, What's going through your mind when you think? We share the same blood that I bleed, Can't go back now you're in too deep, Just keep my name out your mouth when you speak. My hopes, my dreams, These things you've chased away from me. Now all I see are these burning memories. You roll your eyes at me, In that old familiar way, You try to hold me back, Hoping that will make me stay, You wanna cut me down, Thinking I will crawl back home, You wanna shut me up, Terrified of what i'll say. Pay for drugs, pay for prisoners, Don't give two shits for your child's visions, Y'all throw bricks in a glass residence, And don't give two shits for your daughter's interests, Thought you'd be a man and choose a side, I understand it's hard to stand up without a spine, As a father myself, I'd do anything for mine, To protect my sons or die tryin. The knives pulled from her heart left stitches, Now the same knives have been sharpened again, For you to stab her in the back with them, The same knives that you're keeping in your house, And have around your son, and use to cut me down, The same knife you used to cut your sister with, Is the same knife you use to cut your pills with, The same knife you'll use to cut your wrists. .... Hell nah bitch, I ain't finished. Envision a sister sharing her wisdom, guidance, decisions, Scuplting a victor, not inflicting incisions, Intentions irrelevant, quit playing the victim, Quit blaming the circumstance, and claiming your innocence, Diminishing accomplishments. Incinerate sentiments, Disable a bond and enable imprisonments, Wonder the outcome, how come? I ponder the distance of mothers and fathers and daughters, Scholarships, power trips, silence and distance as every hour ticks: The colder my soul will get, The older my bones will get, The easier you are to forget. The harder you are to forgive.

This shit right here, This song is my diary, A personal look into the heart that's inside of me, The hardships that Ive seen, The limits that I have reached, The piss and vinegar it filters everytime it beats The lungs that hold the air that I must breathe, The throat that funnels the words that I speak, I'm 27 and sometimes can't help but think, I'm falling so hard cause I already passed my peak. I jumped and didn't notice how high I leaped, I missed the view cause I was fast asleep, And just last week, My account went in the negative, My wallet so flat you woulda thought it was dented in, Waitin' on calls like a fuckin receptionist, but my phones so quiet you woulda thought it was dead again. Anxiety got my stomach all upset again, And Medications got me all fucked up in the head again, 3 pills, all with the same affects as a sedative, Spent my whole sunday sleepin in bed again. Two boys waitin on their daddy for breakfast, But all we got to eat is peanut butter and bread again. Yeah, This song is my diary, You were right, Whoever said that they doubted me, Wolves always get picked out in a crowd of sheep, Couldn't fit in, my fathers never been proud of me. Got my first charge at the age of 16, Always been a fuck up, I guess that's just me, First one to have kids out of 3 siblings, Always been a fuck up, I guess that's just me. Man, I aint trying to complain, I'm just venting, Opening the windows to my brain, So you can step in, Take a look inside, Get onto this roller coaster, Maybe Take it for a ride.. May be fun for you, Till the loops make you nautious, Now Imagine if you could never get off it. its Hard for you to imagine layin in a coffin, While your Sitting behind a desk in a nice little office, Hard for me to imagine a life without debt, While i'm applyin for some jobs that I wont ever get, Ive Made so many decisions that i'll forever regret, Ive Had so much shit happen that I will never forget. and sittin in a living room, Is killin' me, literally, Little by little, Shit is typical. It's pitiful. Poor Me. Find a bottle of bleach that you could pour me, And maybe I could drink away these stains like a 40 Yeah, This song is my diary, You were right, Whoever said that they doubted me, Wolves always get picked out in a crowd of sheep, Couldn't fit in, my fathers never been proud of me. Got my first charge at the age of 16, Always been a fuck up, I guess that's just me, First one to have kids out of 3 siblings, Always been a fuck up, I guess that's just me. Yeah, This song is my diary, I'm doing it now, I think i'm owed an apology Never afraid to step out of my boundaries, I Realize now that the wolves prowl the sheep, Yeah, This song is my diary, You were wrong, Whoever said that they doubted me, Wolves always get picked out in a crowd of sheep, I'm proud of myself, Could give a fuck if you proud of me yea...

Mister mother fucker, I don't know what your name is, This is anybodys game, and aint nobody can say shit, I don't let mother fuckers hold weights on my head, Only time one's getting pulled on me's when i'm dead, So you can raise your voice, and you can lower your tone, But i'm used to this shit, So I sit like a stone, I wont sweat, I wont let you tred dirt on my name, If you owe me a debt, you can bet your death it gets paid. Don't step on my toes, Don't walk on my roads, I've set all these stones, This is my empire. I pack a gun at all times and my guys do the same, You wont catch me less than 4 deep any day, I ain't scared of a bullet, Or scared of doin' time, Ain't scared of your threats, Like you're scared of mine, You're in the center of a plethora of hurt, and at first, Your sentence wasn't quite as set in stone, You're cursed and It's certain, I would bet my bottom dollar you gon' beg for some mercy Give me 20 seconds flat with a gat when I see you in person. Don't step on my toes, Don't walk on my roads, I've set all these stones, This is my empire. You don't owe me anything... ...but your life Pay your debt to me.

So this is how it ends? With our eyes closed? Heads full of regret, We hold our kids close, We hold our glasses high, We make ourselves a toast, The cyanide burns, As we swallow Families lay down, Grape stained purple sheets, Freedom in the clouds, We reach them in our sleep, We hold our glasses high, We make ourselves a toast, We're foaming at the mouth, and Bleeding from our throats Convulsing, Spewing blood from the mouth.

I'm sick of all you mother fuckers rubbin me wrong, Been frayin so long, i'm focusin' on cuttin you off, I'm tryin' new things, Loosen the knots, unwinding the strings, Defending myself and extending my wings, Truth be told, I just had enough/ It's natural, the puppeteer shadows the puppet, But no one manipulates me, i'm controlled by nothin, I'm so sick of bein' pulled and told when to jump, so fuck it.. Fire, Stokin the fire so I can, Burn a, Bridge In the night, and I can, Breathe the, Smoke from the flames, Killin' myself and I got no one to blame, Razor, Blades in my mouth, and I spit, Daggers, Whenever words come out, and they will, Cut Deep, I got nothing to lose, Step on you all cause I got somethin to prove, Bouncin' off the walls, I run, not crawl, my way through life, No longer afraid to fall, afraid to fail, Or afraid to lose, Not really sure what changed my views, I guess that even if it's tamed, You kick a dog too much you gon' get maimed, You try to keep it caged, you try to keep it weak, But Im not a dog, I have no leash. Fire, Stokin the fire so I can, Burn a, Bridge In the night, and I can, Breathe the, Smoke from the flames, Killin' myself and I got no one to blame, Razor, Blades in my mouth, and I spit, Daggers, Whenever words come out, and they will, Cut Deep, I got nothing to lose, Step on you all cause I got somethin to prove, I'll end your world cause it's time to break the cycle.

Some people try and tell me that I am cynical, Police are always looking at me as if I am a criminal, It's simple to be singled out if you're an individual, A pivitol role of the government is to limit you, To silence opposition until resistence is minimal, Hit you subliminally 'til you submit/ Televisions control your mind, You don't even know that the simple task, of trying to holding a single thought on your own is difficult, Presidents are hypocritical, Politicians are pure evil, A child who resists drugs and goes to school is a miracle, They've been feeding you chemicals, Ignorance is typical, You don't want to believe they've been trying to get rid of you, Piles of skin and skulls, Miles of only bones, If you don't open your eyes, you'll only add to those, If you concentrate you can hear their souls singing a song to you. Close your eyes... and this is how it goes.. Self guided missiles and blackholes, Pray for all cause it's the end of the world as we know it. You can close your eyes, Or you can cast the stones. Here lies an innocent man on a concrete slab, holes in his back. Across the street there's a beat cop with a nine milli and a silver badge. One million enforcers ensuring our death toll reaches six billion. Police and military action, equipped with guns and plastic caskets. and yet you march to their beat. You can't stop moving your feet. You love your right to be free, and yet you follow their lead. The slums are full of drugs, liquor stores on every corner. Charities get no coverage, but murder's covered by all reporters. Taxes are raised, and crime has never been this high before, but nothing seems to change. Police need to fill their selfish quota. And when it comes to race, we couldn't be more divided, while we're guided by the media to be biased, and we buy it, and we're blinded by it. Free to point out the blaim, but you don't even realize you're just a pawn in a chess game.